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OUTLAW-ANGEL JOURNEY

High Level Overview

A few brief answers to some common questions.

FAQ: FAQ

WHAT MENTAL HEALTH DIAGNOSIS WERE YOU GIVEN?

It seemed the professionals didn't know which label to attach to my realization that I was not "normal".  After a few hours of answering questions, they were tossing around borderline personality disorder, oppositional defiant disorder and schizophrenia.  The winning label was bestowed on me at the age of 28:  rapid cycling, mixed state, bipolar 1.  The medication landslide and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) started shortly thereafter.  I am still adding to my mental health toolbox two decades later.

WHY DID YOU CHANGE TREATMENT STRATEGIES?

There were two reasons.  First, after nearly a decade of DBT and medication, I was not making progress yet had checked off all the "official" boxes for success - stable home, stable work, no mental health emergencies.  Second, I lost my health insurance which meant I had to come up with over $3,000(US) each month to maintain my Rx regimen.  Losing my health insurance was the catalyst I needed to overcome my fear and that haunting voice that tells you to stay safe, don't rock the boat, reminding you of all your past failures.

WHY DID YOU START THIS SITE & THE SUB-STACK?

I worked very hard within the US mental health system.  I went to therapy, took my meds and did the work.  I do believe I needed these things to begin to get out of my own way.  I was absolutely imprisoned in my own mind and had to learn how to see beyond those bars.  Once I gained stability, I found an emptiness there.  I had no idea WHY I was alive.  I was lost again, this time with a clarity there was something I was missing.  Eight years later, this version of me is ready to share what I've learned with the singular goal of helping others.

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